this will be my last post for this year.. It happen too sudden.. everything changes, used to be 5 of us, veri soon. will drop to 4 of us.. just when i needed someone realli badly, tat person didn;t came, and here i am all alone fighting a battle which has veri low possibility of winning.. but i wouldn't give up dad.. so DON"T u give up.. Everyday, i'm hiding my tears by smiling and laughing, it realli hurts inside.. Sorry to most of my buddies when i didnt explain the situation to u guys.. every time i explain, there will be tears in my eyes, i'll hold it back coz i don wanna affect u guys mood. Now all my buddies know the situation, thanks, yao, for explaining to them. Reality is always cruel, i regretted my action of spending $ without thinking, now when my family needed $ the most, i felt so useless becoz i can't help much.. now.. i don even dare to ask $ from my mum.. surviving on my savings alone.. Dad treat me so good, and everytime i take it for granted.. On e day he was admitted to hospital, he insist to send me to school FIRST becoz he do not wanna see us late. i said no, but he insisted on sending me to school.. His back hurts and he still send me to school before he went to hospital.. wat a bu xiao zi i am.. >.< everything he did, is all for us, he nvr spend $ buying the things he like, coz he save his $ all for us to spend on. When i heard the news abt his situation, my heart felt like a billon arrows went thru it, tears in my eyes but i didn't let it out as i know that if i do tat, my elder bro, younger bro and mum will definitely be affected by me. Life has change, everyone has been teling me to be strong, i m trying veri hard, i have no idea how long more i can last. I need a shoulder to lean on, i need sth to keep me going. Seriously speaking, i realli sucks in my studies now just tat i don dare tell my mum, i realli have no mood to study but my family and relatives keep telling me to do well in my poly. I m trying, but NOW i realli can;t focus in study! I will persevere, becoz e rason why i am in poly is becoz of my dad, he always wanted to see me be in poly although he know tat i m not good in academic, but he said to me tat, he wants to at least see me get a diploma. E diploma tat i will be getting is for YOU dad. i will not be lazy from now on. Every single moment he is worried that we 3 brothers will be led astray, we are all young adults dad, but we will pay special attention to younger bro who is now still immature. There's so mani things tat i MUST do, but i have so little time left, haix. When u know tat someone who is veri close to u will soon be taken away, u will lose interest in everything, and every single moment, even if u are smiling or laughing, the pain and sadness inside can nvr be taken away. Alright guys, thanks buddies for ur concern and support.. i'll hold on for as long as i can.. even till i collapsed. will not be blogging for a veri long period of time.. Thanks again..
A New Life