This yr has been a good or bad year? I don’t know, and what lies ahead of me seem so unclear. I am 21 already, and I supposed I am to think as much as the adults are. Much stuff has been running through my head ever since the start of this year, for e.g. If I will join police force instead of army, serving 5 yrs of service instead of 2, and what if I do not get into the army, well I guess that will be a disaster for me. What occupation will I be working as, what type of house am I going to live in the future, what type of car am I going to buy, how “rich” will I be? Most importantly, where will I be after I have served the service? >.<
This year will be the last year I am going to work in Sembawang Bottle Tree Village. It used to be fun ever since 1 yr ago? BUT many things have changed; both the environment and the people. I love my working place a lot as I know most of the people over there, but those people whom I have more to chat with are leaving one by one, every time they left. I really hate saying goodbye to them as I know I will never see them again, but however I am used to it now. Sometimes under certain circumstances, human beings are force to adapt to changes no matter how unwillingly they are, those who do not adapt to it will only suffer even more. This yr most of my buddies will be going into army, the work place where I intend to let all of us meet more often has become a deserted island.
At many times, maybe trying hard is not enough, doing hard is not enough, working hard and giving all the best is not enough. Maybe I am always I small kid in everyone eyes who only know how to play. Cheering people up USED to be my specialized area, but definitely not now or in the future. I always keep silence at times, its not because I am going against anyone, or I am an idiot who only knows how to PLAY, my mind is running through lots of stuff, maybe to many people I am not thinking deep enough, but I am me, as the saying goes, a leopard never changes its spot, I can try to be as perfect as possible, but sometimes maybe the root of something in a person is really difficult to change or maybe I should say it is impossible to change. We know clearly who affects who a lot and who doesn’t, needless to say that, but the person who hurts you is usually the one whom u cherish and treasure most. 不是你的勉强也没有用， 是你的你想跑也跑不掉
A New Life